Deferred
by Ginny Perry
Summary: Anthea and Concordia suffer for N's defiance and he makes up for it. Blood, violence, general angst ahoy!


I got nothin' for a comment on this one just ENJOY DUDE

* * *

Now that N was approaching puberty, Anthea and Concordia were rarely called to care for him. While his childish habits of playing with toys and coloring on the walls was hardy dwindling, he was more qualified to care for himself. Ghetsis wanted him isolated as much as possible as the boy grew older for reasons he never fully explained to anyone. Now, instead of ensuring he received his baths and wore clean clothing, the sisters spent much of their day performing other duties around the castle.

The switch of roles sometimes sparked jealousy in the two girls, mainly over the apparent favoritism. They were obligated to do mindless chores while N was able to do whatever he wanted at any hour of the day. And a new "rule" Ghetsis created only added fuel to their growing distaste for their brother: if he misbehaved, the girls would suffer the consequences. It was supposed to be an incentive to make him more obedient, but it seemed like N had little remorse for what they were being put through. Meals shrunk, sleep times cut short... all because N was an immature brat.

Anthea sighed as she stood at the doorway to N's room. Despite her feelings towards him, she was still instructed to straighten his room a few days a week. Usually they traded off the duties, but Concordia was sick in bed. She slowly opened the door and entered.

"Anthea!" she heard him call out as he ran towards her, his lanky body so awkwardly coordinated. N held out a plastic train in both hands. "Are you here to play with me?"

She paused for a moment, looking down at him before scanning his bedroom. It was the same as it ever was; dozens of stuffed toys scattered across the floor, an exorbitant tower of blocks so carefully constructed in the corner. Books, some open, some carelessly discarded. The room was clean but in complete disarray. There was no sign that anything had been removed or changed. Every luxury N basked in was clearly present while her sister and she were forced to go without even the essentials.

Anthea swatted the toy from his hands. It fell to the carpet and rolled until it hit the wall.

"How could you be so ungrateful?" she demanded, her face twisted in anger, tears settled at the edges of her brown eyes. "Living such a selfish life, playing with your stupid trains and blocks like a privileged child while we suffer for it. Do you honestly think of anyone but yourself?!"

N blinked, his eyes shifting back and forth from the girl's gaze to the broken train on the cloudy floor.

"H-Huh?" was all he could think to say. The soft tone in his voice was sincere, but it did little to convince Anthea that he was truly ignorant.

"Stop playing stupid!" Her fists curled as her eyes narrowed. The tears were now streaking down her face in pure frustration. "Do you have any idea how much we've suffered because you refuse to listen to Ghetsis? Every time you disobey him, he takes it out on _us_. Concordia is too sick to get out of bed and yet he won't give her any medicine until you stop acting so selfish. I haven't been allowed a full meal in over a week!"

"I... I didn't know!" N's hands began to tremble as he saw her resentment flare at his meek response.

"_Shut up!_ That's a lie and you know it! He _told you _there would be punishments for your immature behavior. Yet you continued to act like a child. Or are you too stupid to understand what that means? Do you _know _what a punishment is?!"

"I'm not stupid!" N suddenly screamed back as he raked his hands through his wild hair, his terror turning to rage. "He never did anything to me even when he threatened to punish me, so I d-"

"Anything _to you_. _You_. It's always about _you_, isn't it, N?"

Enraged by his shallow thinking, Anthea kicked the plastic train tracks, sending the pieces flying through the air. Another swift movement of her foot and the meticulous tower of blocks was sent tumbling to the floor. Hundreds littered the carpet as she continued kicking them, releasing all her pent up frustration and violent anger.

"I hate you _and_ your stupid toys!" she shrieked before sending another dozen blocks soaring, one striking the half-pipe and cracking. "You're so selfish it makes me sick!"

Before she could crush the train track pieces under her foot, she felt spindly fingers wrap around her forearm and pull her towards the floor. N crawled on top of her and held both hands at her shoulders, pinning her with his weight.

"_Stop_," was all he said, firmly and cold, as his fingers began to squeeze. Anthea only needed to see the terrifying glazed-over look on the boy's face before she knew he meant to hurt her.

"_Get off me_." N was inexperienced in the act of overpowering another; one swift knee to his chest knocked him back and onto the floor as he crossed his arms over his chest. His ribs ached as he struggled to breathe. Anthea calmly stood to her feet.

"Are you happy, N?" she asked, her voice no longer so angry. It almost sounded pitying. "Are you truly happy being so unconcerned with anyone but yourself?"

Anthea turned and left, slamming the door behind her.

Tears unconsciously began to fall as N slowed regained his breath. The blind fury he felt was gone; he suddenly felt hollow and loathed.

"No," he wheezed softly in response to her question even though he was alone, his lungs still burning from the harsh blow. "I'm so sorry, Anthea..."

* * *

N was taken by slight surprise when he saw Ghetsis enter his room so early in the evening; he typically only visited late at night. Judging by his hardened expression, he was displeased with something. The boy stood up from the floor and bowed as a sign of respect.

"Anthea told me you attacked her," the man said sternly. "Do you care to tell me why you would do something so callous?"

"She broke my toys!" N whined back, sounding much younger than his true age. "She called me selfish and said I only care about myself!"

"Violence is incredibly savage when triggered by such frivolous things. You should know this."

"Y-Yes, but... I..." He became quiet for a moment while he thought about what Anthea had said to him. They were being punished for his behaviors. Perhaps, if he made up for what he had done, Ghetsis would spare them his burdens?

"I heard about how they're taking my punishments," N said softly. "I feel awful for it. They don't deserve that. I should have never been so selfish. I'm sorry, father."

Ghetsis crossed his arms over his chest. How far would the boy be willing to prove his apology, he wondered?

"Are you truly sorry?" he replied, eyes narrowing.

"Yes, father." N hung his head low, fixating his gaze on the fluffy clouds of his bedroom carpet.

"Then remove your clothing, get on your knees and put your hands behind your back."

The child did not falter. He pulled his long-sleeved shirt over his head before unbuckling his belt and removing his pants. N hesitated only for a moment before slipping the waistband of his underwear off his hips and onto the floor. He knelt down and placed his hands behind his back, clasping his fingers together. Ghetsis rarely bound him; he never really needed to. N knew better than to disobey.

"You're so quick to comply," the older man mused. "Why didn't you just listen in the beginning and prevent this from becoming so necessary?"

Gray eyes shifted to the floor as the shame began to settle in. The humiliation of being completed nude did not help him fight the feeling.

"I'm... selfish, father." It was the only real reason he could come up with. _Selfish and stupid._ He should've known something else was happening. His father was not one to take orders. Thinking that denying Ghetsis wouldn't cause any sort of repercussion was incredibly foolish. N supposed that he had become too hopeful, that what sounded too good to be true was actually possible.

Ghetsis sighed as he reached for his belt under his cloak, pulling out a riding crop. N's body stiffened immediately at the sight.

"Honesty. Such a noble trait. I've educated you well, it seems." As he spoke, the man ran his finger along the shaft of the crop with a bored expression on his face. "A shame you're so content to stray from my perfect teachings."

There was little warning before Ghetsis flicked his wrist and swung the instrument in his hand, the belted leather making swift contact with the boy's chest. N could not help but scream as he was struck. His father had attached a sharp metal shard at the end of the crop that tore away at his skin. He had not received this retribution in a long time, and the last time he was beaten, the leather alone only made deep bruises. Ghetsis enjoyed the sight of blood, but N didn't know that. He assumed it was only to harshen the punishment.

"Keep your hands behind your back," Ghetsis warned as he saw his thin arms tremble. N squeezed his palms together harder as the crop made contact once more with his skin, and again, and again. By the sixth lash, the nails of his left hand were embedding themselves into the back of his right's, deeper and deeper with every swing of his father's arm. He still could not hold his voice back each time he was struck, but Ghetsis did not seem to mind. Only when N began to lower his head while flinching did he express his distaste.

"Head _up_," the sage ordered as the heel of his foot collided with N's forehead. His head tipped back and for a moment, the blow left him in a spotty daze. He was almost thankful for it, as the strikes from the horrible object above him were temporarily forgotten. Despite, he could still smell blood.

The _wsshh_ sound of the crop cutting through the air suddenly came more frequent. N had no time to take a breath between swats as the metal-clad leather was forcefully beaten against his rib cage faster than the boy's racing heartrate. He gasped harshly and held his breath until his lungs screamed for oxygen, attempting to weaken the horrid pain that tore through his torso with every blow.

Just as N was about to give into the temptation of shielding himself, Ghetsis dropped the crop to the floor. The teen exhaled in relief before taking in short, shallow breaths; every deep gasp ripped at the wounds along his chest.

N heard a tinny sound as a lighter case was separated, the dancing flame catching the end of his father's cigarette. The smell of burning tobacco quickly filled the room. The scent made the boy slightly sick; Ghetsis only did this to calm himself down in private settings, but rarely did it ever dull the man's temper.

The sage paced slowly while examining his son, inhaling deeply on his vice. N didn't dare say a word. His slightly forlorn gaze was fixed on a small stain in the carpet a few feet away. He couldn't remember what it was from. He didn't really care to remember, anyway.

The sage fought back the urge to make any sort of expression. How difficult it was, seeing his beautiful son covered in sweat and deep gashes. The blood looked divine streaked down porcelin skin, that of his progeny who was so submitted to him, he hadn't dared try to protect himself from such harsh abuse. He had the deep urge to test N's limits, but pushing too hard may cause unneeded lethal concequences. Still, there was time to divulge a little. Just how far was N willing to go?

Ghetsis knelt one knee down in front of him, examining N's face. He was too terrified to make eye contact. His father knew this; to remedy the situation, he grabbed N by the hair and forced his neck up.

"Is it worth it, boy?" Another long drag on his cigarette. Ghetsis blew the smoke into his face and N's eyes watered, but he surpressed the cough as his lungs protested. "Is it really worth all this trouble you go through to keep your sisters content?"

N paused for a moment. He knew deep in his heart that his sisters never deserve any ill-treatment and that he had been selfish to defer his punishments. But still nagging in the back of his mind was that wretched pain and the deep desire to ignore the sensation of blood running down his chest. He couldn't give up. Pain is only temporary, he assured himself.

"I'll do whatever I have to to keep them safe, sir."

"Do you blame me? Do you blame me for punishing you? _Correcting_ you?"

N sincerely knew he deserved this.

"No."

A near-menacing smile crept up his father's face. Ghetsis took one final breath full of smoke before putting the cigarette out on N's chest, taking care to extinguish it on an open wound. N screamed and attempted to flinch, but his father's fingers were still firmly wrapped around his hair. He could only shut his eyes and wince as the smell of burnt flesh reached his nose.

"Good boy."

The grip was released and N doubled over in pain. The flame had been removed but the searing still remained, agonizing enough to take his breath away. The block he built around his fragile mind was beginning to crack as his body shook. He was suddenly fully aware of every inch of himself that ached.

Suddenly, he felt a large hand grasp at his wrists that were still behind his back. Another had returned to his head, this time pushing him into the floor. A hardness was pressed against his backside, and that's when N panicked.

"_No!_" he wailed, tears beginning to fall from his eyes. "No no no! Stop! I don't want this! Stop, daddy, _stop_! _Don't!_"

The hands were removed as Ghetsis stepped away. N rolled to his side and fell to the floor in a fit of sobs, his wounds burning as they brushed against the carpet.

"Very well," Ghetsis stated simply. A few moments later, N heard his bedroom door open and then close. Silence. In mere seconds, he had stopped the punishment from continuing.

He had failed.

* * *

After wrapping his chest up with an old shirt to contain the bleeding, N crawled into bed and laid for hours, facing the wall next to him. He was absolutely disgusted with himself and his lack of control. If he had held himself together for just a bit longer, perhaps his father would have found his punishment satisfying enough.

Late in the evening, N heard his bedroom door open and saw a glimpse of Anthea's bright pink hair in the corner of his vision. He shut his eyes tightly and lay motionless, hoping to seem like he was asleep while she cleaned his room. For at least fifteen minutes he stayed this way while hearing the soft patter of her feet and his toys being straightened. Her footsteps became quieter as she headed for the door once more.

"I know you're awake, N," she said flatly as she turned the door handle. "You never sleep with the lights on."

The boy swallowed hard but said nothing.

"Ghetsis told us you refused your punishment again." The tone of her voice became more forlorn. "I really wish you would start caring about other people than just about yourself. If this were the other way around, I'd do it for you. Just... think about that next time."

Anthea turned off the lights as she left. N placed his hands over his face as he felt the tears well up in his eyes.

He hated himself.


End file.
